Balls of titanium.
I’ve got ‘em. Figuratively speaking, of course.
I haven’t the faintest when I went from being a shy, retiring person with no confidence to being the Adamantium Woman I am today, but it happened. Perhaps it was when I realized I could hold my own in high-level academic discourse as a mere undergrad. Maybe it was the first time someone actually took my ideas and imaginings seriously. I don’t know. I’m grateful for the change, though.
For some reason, it simply never occurs to me to not take a risk. To not put myself out there, and scream at the top of my lungs, “I can DO this! Just WATCH me!”
That’s how I got my job; I applied for a position I was utterly unqualified for. But I wanted the job, badly, and I knew I could do it. What would it cost me to apply, beyond a stamp? Nothing. So I wrote my cover letter, drafted up the resume, and sent it out. I never expected to hear back. And two years went by with no word.
Out of the blue, though, I got a phone call asking me to come for an interview. Not for that longshot position, but for another one that I was perfectly suited for. It was still a stretch for me, but the boss thought I could handle it. Anyone with the sheer titanium ‘nads to apply for the job I had originally had to be able to manage the pressure.
And for two years now, I have.
Catch & Release is like that. It’s a stretch – a huge project that I honestly have no idea how I’m going to pull off executing. I’m lucky enough to have a friend like Bethany who’s willing to take a look at an email sent early one morning, ponder my crazy idea for a few minutes, and immediately jump in with both feet. She’s got my back on this, and that’s reassuring. Because this is going to be a monumental undertaking, cats and kittens, even if it doesn’t end up becoming a media phenomenon.
But it’s going to be worth attempting.
Because I have balls of titanium, and an inherent conviction that I can will just about anything into working.
We can DO this. Just WATCH us.
I seriously admire such confidence. I wish I could have such conviction in myself and my abilities, for though I know I can do anything in my head, my heart wibbles quite dreadfully often.
I look forward to seeing you do this, to watching as you succeed in this mysterious venture. I await it with great anticipation!
I have no clue where the confidence came from, as I’m far from confident in other aspects of my life (social neurosis, who me?), but it’s astonishing and wonderful to step back and watch myself trying this, with no fear.
Thank you so much for the vote of confidence. When my OWN wibbles come into play (which they will, oh, don’t I know it), it’s good to know that others are rooting for me and my madness!